for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent
strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted
through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called
Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").
victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the
past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves
from this especially troublesome disease.
sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include,
but are not limited to:
personality disorder traits
of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor
mangling of the English language
to incorporate new information
to accept responsibility for actions
cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado
of geography and history
toward creating evangelical theocracies
propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior
is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are
amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only
a few years ago in a Texas Bush.